Wish Upon a Star (For Remus)

[Remus Lupin]

Remus stared at her. Bloody hell, this was not good. He's have to be offended. Maybe then, she might believe it. He could hardly convince himself anymore. It was his fault, he knew that the moon captivated him. He had simply been tempting fate. He was screwed now.

"I'm not a bloody werewolf." he said firmly, "I'm sure I'd know if I was and my mates would certainly be unhappy about it. Peter is scared of everything. If I was a werewolf, which I'm not, don't you think they'd figure it out? And then what? Peter isn't the type to sleep in a room with a monster."

Peter was an excellent example and he was pleased with himself for thinking of it. He knew that Sirius and James would be quick to deny Remus' condition, but he didn't know about Peter.

"You're wrong about this one."

[Celestina Flamel]

Celestina considered this.. she was still almost a hundred percent positive that she was right... the split second expression on his face.. all of this fit.. but could she get him to admit it? Without upsetting him?.. and at what cost..

"Peter would have to.. considering there's only one guy's dorm per house per year." Celestina said sensibly.. "And going to visit your mother every month she said simply." Giving him one of those looks... it was "The Dumbledore look" that one where those light blue eyes seem to stare right through you...seeing all..

Then, before he could react, she leaned over and grabbed hold of the neck of his sweater, pulling it down slightly to expose the jagged scar across one of his major veins... the turning bite of a werewolf... if she wasn't completely mistaken.. Fenrir Grayback's.. she had learned each werewolf had a distinctive bite and place for putting it... and this looked like it could be one of his.. at least it matched the text book picture...

and she swallowed as she looked up into his eyes, frozen as she seemed to realize just what she had done... she knew for sure...

[Remus Lupin]

Remus hated those bloody textbooks. They had to tell where each werewolf bit. That made his job a hell of a lot harder. He looked her square in the eye and with a deadly serious face. It was his most convincing one. If this didn't get her, nothing would.

"I am not a werewolf. I got that scar when I was a child. A cauldron exploded and some of the glass that was being used flew at me. As for my mother, she is dying. She probably won't live to see me graduate. I'd visit her every week if I could." he said, his voice forcibly calm. He carefully pulled her hand off of his sweater.

He found it funny, he had denied his secret three times. It was Biblical, the third denial. After that, the secret would betray him.

[Celestina Flamel]

Celestina shook her head.. "No... Cauldron explosions.. don't look like that." She said shaking her head softly... "They look like this.." Slowly she shrugged down her sweater shoulder to reveal a jagged glass scar on one shoulder, surrounded by a patch of reddish skin..

"I got it working on a Draught of Living Death two years ago.. I accidentally added in a tiny bit much hellebore... the whole thing went up in flames.." She whispered softly, shaking her head and shrugging back into her shirt.. "I've been somewhat scared of potions ever since.. but I managed to go back to them.. mostly because I had to.." She paused...

"That... is no cauldron explosion.. it's a werewolf bite.... from Fenrir Grayback I believe.. though that part I'm not positive on.." She whispered softly holding his eyes. "It's alright...I will keep your secret.. I would never.. ever.. tell." She whispered seriously, her eyes meeting his eyes again

[Remus Lupin]

Remus growled in frustration. His fists clenched and he scrunched his eyes closed. Why couldn't she leave well enough alone? This was getting worse and worse by the second. How did she know all of that information? It had to be impossible. His head snapped up and he opened his eyes.

"Don't you get it? I don't want you to keep any bloody secrets! Are you mad? Werewolves are dangerous. You're just a kid! Are you trying to get yourself bloody killed?" he demanded, then stood up and began pacing back and forth on the grass. It was so unlike him to react like this.

"Damn it. I'm so bloody stupid. I let my guard down for one God damned afternoon and everything breaks." he muttered, continuing to pace.

[Celestina Flamel]

"Remus.." She murmured almost helplessly.. "Stop.. for.. just..a minute!" She said, getting up after him. "I owe you an explanation... listen first." She pleaded putting her hands on his shoulders to somewhat balance him out.

"I told you I went to a private school.. what I didn't tell you.. is that that private school was one student.. me... and my Godparents.. I started studying magic when I was five years old, Remus.. I'm an animagus... a phoenix to be exact... and I'm not a kid... I've never been one .. I don't think.. I've never been around kids.. it's the reason I dont' get on well with anyone but you! I was raised by a witch and a wizard who are both over six hundred years old!" She whispered, swallowing. "By physical years.. I'm fifteen.. by mental years... I'm much older." She murmured.

"Smart enough to not get myself killed! And smart enough to know that you, Remus Lupin, are someone I'm not gonna let go of simply because you.. have a ... a... furry little problem! I love you too much for that!" She burst out, determined to make him understand.

[Remus Lupin]

Remus stared at her. She didn't get it. She would never get it. No one ever would, not even his best friends. And she, who he had met only hours ago, hours, thought that she might. No, it wasn't that simple. It wasn't as easy as she was obviously hoping.

"You don't know what you're talking about. It doesn't matter, age, intelligence, abilities. None of it matters. You don't get it." he managed to get out before storming past her towards the castle.

When he was an animal, it didn't matter how talented someone was. All he wanted was blood. He needed it. And no one but another werewolf could understand it.

[Celestina Flamel]

"Remus wait!" She called, hurrying after him until she caught up and grabbed his hand, forcing him around to look at her for a moment.. "Wait! please!" She whispered, a desperate sort of look on her face. "Don't.. go like that." She whispered desperately. "You're the last person I have here.. don't just walk away.. please.." She whispered, tears building her eyes that she wouldn't let fall.

"Remus.. talk with me about this... I get it.. no I don't understand.. but I get it.. at full moons.. you're dangerous... but the rest of the time.. you're normal.. you're you... and that wolf side is a part of you.. so what .. if I have to be separated on you from full moon nights to keep me safe.. what does it bloody matter, Remus? You are a person too.. you DESERVE to be loved. .just like anyone else.. I don't care about any of that... I care about what's in here... Give me a chance to prove it... please... give me a chance?" She whispered, putting one of her hands right over where his heart was.... and her eyes were so pleading... so desperate it was almost haunting...

[Remus Lupin]

Remus turned around, walking backwards but facing her. He didn't care if he was caught now, it almost seemed inevitable that someone would see him outside on the grounds. He was so frustrated that he couldn't get through to her.

"I'm not normal. I'm an animal, I am part animal. And it's always there. It doesn't just go away after the moon fades. It is always there."

His fingers combed through his hair, pulling on it. He couldn't believe this. This was insane.

"I put everyone in danger. My friends...the only true friends I've ever had. This entire school. God, I'm so selfish." he spat out, "I'm never safe to be around."

[Celestina Flamel]

"Remus.. wait!" She exclaimed in a whispered voice. She ran forward and grabbed both of his hands, forcing him to stop at least a moment. "You'll be seen." She said seriously.. "Come back here and talk with me." She pleaded softly. "For me.."

She paused.. "Oi.. I have to try to make you see." She seemed to say it to herself. "Remus.. please.. listen.. I know it's always there... it's why you looked at the moon tonight and froze.. it will always be there.. but. I don't care I'm old enough and wise enough to know what I risk.. and I'm more than willing to take it.." She whispered softly, pulling his hands out of his hair and holding onto them.

"Remus.. when I started liking you... it was ALL of you.. if you hadn't been bitten.. you wouldn't be the person you are now... that's part of you.. and when we care about someone.. we don't just care about part of them... we don't love say... one half of their body and not the other.." She paused again.. using her talking as a chance to get closer until now she could take his face in her small hands.

"If you put everyone in danger.. I'm sure my....Professor Dumbledore wouldn't have let you come... he's a very smart man.. whatever security methods he'd devised to keep you and everyone else safe... they'll work." She said softly.

"You are not selifsh... Remus Lupin... you a brave.. and loyal.. and true.. you are kind.. you are the first person here to ever see me for who I really am.. you are compassionate and trustworthy.. you're patient.. intelligent.. and mature.. you are wise in a way I will never be... and I'm not nearly good enough for you... I never will be... but I'd like to try to be... it'll give me something to live up to.." She whispered, tears gathering in those eyes of hers as she brushed a slight wave of his brown hair out of his amber eyes..

[Remus Lupin]

Remus shook his head nonstop as she talked. She couldn't be wise enough. She couldn't see it. Or feel it. He could feel it, the monster inside of him. It was tearing at his chest, whispering in his mind, telling him what it wanted. He pulled his hands away from her.

"You're never going to get it. I know what it's thinking. I can hear its thoughts. And you want to know what it says right now, while I'm looking at you?" he asked her.

He didn't wait for any response.

"It says kill her. It says I want to kill her, destroy her. And it doesn't matter if it scares you. Because it tears me apart, to have it begging for blood when I look at someone; anyone." he finished, "I'm going back up to the castle now."

Again he turned and began to head back to the school, skirting along in the shadows.

[Celestina Flamel]

Celestina sighed as he left again.. and this time.. she did not follow..this would be one thing she could not force out of him.. she would have to take time, be gentle, convincing.. but Celestina Elise Flamel Dumbledore, was not one to fall short of her goal when she'd determined what it was.. and right now.. it was to get Remus to love her..

She knew he did... that kiss.. it had been so magical.. nothing ever had felt that wonderful before.. but how could she get him to put aside all of his fears and trust in her? She didn't know. But I'll find a way.. on Merlin's name I swear I'll find a way to make him admit he loves me too... She whispered in her mind.. but for now..

She slid down the base of the huge weeping willow and buried her face in the grass, sobbing - silently- as though her body was going to break in two... because really it was her heart that was breaking in two.. but she wouldn't let anyone know.. she would take care of herself.. and she would rise.. like a Phoenix from its ashes..